Sewer Dwarves Getting Their Hands Dirty.

I attended the Sewer Advisory Committee meeting last night and I have to say that I have a huge amount of respect, admiration and thanks for every person on that committee:

Nancy Wheatly, Chair, at large
Michael Kopko, Vice Chair, BOS rep
Jeff Willett, DPW
Andrew Vorce, Planning Office
Rick Atherton, FinCom
Charity Benz, at large
Ritchie O’Neil, at large
Barbara Gookin, at large
Finn Murphy, at larger
David Gray, at large

I think back to the brouhaha this summer when Michael Kopko suggested we have a sewer committee. Mr. Glowacki objected, saying that it was part of some kind of evil plan on the part of Sustainable Nantucket to use sewers as a tool to further their agenda. And Mr. Chadwick sat at the front desk and said, with a straight face, that "the work has already been done."

The sewer committee has proven them both wrong. There is no way that the current sewer commissioners (the Board of Selectmen) could possibly develop a list of comprehensive sewer policies and recommendations without the valuable, and often painful, work the "Sewer Dwarves" as they have been dubbed, have done over the last few months. And Sustainable Nantucket has not played even a small role in the discussions in the committee.

By the middle of December, the Sewer Dwarves will make their recommendations to the board and the town and it will likely involve forming a new sewer commission with a staff and a revolving enterprise fund. As well as new special legislation to give the commission powers and authorities to manage our wastewater system the way it should be done.

This is not glamorous work. And it's certainly not fun. But hats off to the Sewer Dwarves. They deserve our thanks.

The I&M's Editorial Staff Is Clearly On Crack.

The Nantucket police like to park their cruisers in the parking lot outside the building which houses the island’s alleged paper of record at night so they can be on the lookout for people who may be driving a little erratically. It’s a sure sign that the operator is under the influence of something.

Perhaps, however, Nantucket’s Finest should get a warrant and enter the I&M in search of illegal substances because from reading their most recent editorial, it’s clear to me that the editorial staff there may be smoking something. Something kind of funny.

First let me get one thing straight. I am not criticizing the paper's endorsement of Patty Roggeveen for Selectman. Patty is incredibly smart and incredibly knowledgeable and I believe would make a wonderful selectperson as would David Gray or Catherine Stover. But in the process of endorsing Roggeveen, they sung Mike Glowacki’s praises and stated that Patty would bring business smarts to a board that has been “dysfunctional since last April’s elections.”

I&M. Wake the hell up. Shake yourself out of your questionable-substance-induced haze and smell the Nantucket Coffee Roasters coffee.

The current Board of Selectmen, despite featuring one empty seat (Mike Glowacki’s) and one empty suit (Brian Chadwick’s) has done more in the past seven months than any board in my recent memory has been able to accomplish in any similar period of time. I should know. I’ve attended a large number of the BOS meetings in the past seven months, (for the entertainment value alone — effective government is actually a pleasure to watch! Interestingly, I have not seen either the editor or the publisher there). And here’s what I see as some of their accomplishments:

First, they’ve actually appointed a few people to various boards and committees who have experience and degrees in specific pertinent areas instead of the usual cadre of cronies and old political hacks that had been appointed in the Chadwick/Glowacki (Chadwacki) era. Imagine, a PhD. in geology and oceanography on the Conservation Commission. Pretty good stuff.

They appointed the sewer committee and in a little under two weeks we will have a pretty substantial sewer policy to vote on and codify. This is something that had never happened in Glowacki’s time. In fact, I can recall two town meetings in a row where we desperately needed a policy to guide town meeting with regard to how new connections should be developed and all we got from Mr. Glowacki was silence and more stonewalling.

The current Board has taken on the concept of growth and has actually sought to do something about it by taking our hapless Planning Board to task to get them to actually do the job for which they were elected — draft and vote on a Master Plan under MGL chapter 41 section 81D. Glowacki had trouble even defining what growth is!

They have addressed affordable housing both at 2 Fairgrounds Road and on town owned property by setting aside $1.25 million each year to purchase land, housing or upgrade existing properties in order to make it possible to fill important town positions with qualified candidates without the cost and availability of housing being an issue. What did Mr. Glowacki do with regard to affordable housing plans? Criticize them.

The current board has welcomed comment and discourse at their meetings. They have embraced and considered the thinking of all and have taken the public’s comments to heart and even put them on the agenda. I personally asked the board to consider putting the Sconset Beach Preservation Fund on the agenda and they actually did so! One of Mr. Glowacki’s first acts as Chair was to publish a rather restrictive list of rules for public comment, as I recall. I doubt he would even recognize me in a meeting had I raised my hand.

The current Board has bravely tackled taxi regs and a new harbor plan, enlisting two hard-working committees to address these two important policy issues. They have given the Beach Management Advisory Committees new life and new purpose with ragard to codifying One Big Beach. They have taken bad policies in the park and rec commission pertaining to turning the Jetties beach bar into the kind of bar that sells beer and turns family friendly spots into adult-only zones. They have worked closely with the Town Government Study Committee and will, I understand, be bringing several new ideas and policies to the voters at town meeting. And they saved the Visitors’ Services committee from destruction at the hands of Glowacki and Chadwick.

How much did Mike Gloawacki’s board get done in the last year he was chair? The answer is on the internet, here in Mike Glowacki’s report to the people from 2005-2006. And the answer is, the Glowacki-led board did virtually nothing! The only accomplishment that Mr. Glowacki can lay claim to in the entire document is the approval of a beach management plan. A plan developed by a previous board!

So, I&M, you say Mike Gowacki was great, but the record shows he was, by any meaningful measure, a pillar of mediocrity. And you call the current board dysfunctional, but the record shows a relatively long and laudable list of accomplishments over the past seven months.

I think given what the record says, it’s high time you stopped calling yourselves the paper of record and started touting the fact that your view of reality is filtered through a haze emanating from a still-warm crack pipe. You’ve clearly drunk the Chadwacki Kool-Aid.

Or perhaps that pipe is filled with Chadwacki tobaccy?

Nantucket First!

YACK on: Community School

Here's my column from this week's Nantucket Independent.

It’s been in the news lately that our Superintendent of schools is looking for public input on the future of the Nantucket Community School. We’ve been talking about it a great deal on YACK, the Nantucket Online Community at yakon.com, and the general consensus is, there are lots and lots of questions about the Community School and not a whole lot of answers.

To tell you the truth, my knowledge of what goes on at the community school is pretty slim. I know a few people who work there. I know that they have a large English as a second language and literacy offering. I walk by their offices once in a while because my daughter goes to the Cyrus Peirce Middle School and they always seem busy in there. And occasionally, I’ll pick up the catalogue and read it to see if anything interests me.

It doesn’t.

Now, I’m an open minded kind of guy. But I wonder, really, how vital to our growth as a species is a six-week class on beading? And really, how much does one need to learn to do beading? Isn’t a course consisting of six 1-1/2 hour classes a little much? I mean, first there’s the class on string and then next week there’s a class on finding the holes in the beads and then I guess there could be an hour and a half on knots and such, but after that where do you really need to go?

Then there’s the class on European knitting. I don’t know about you, but I’m still trying to master the art of American knitting. Knitting with an accent or in an different language altogether is, I’m afraid, beyond me.

And there’s no way in hell I’ll be attending a class on ballroom dancing or, even scarier, Jazz Dance. (Just imagine me in capri tights making with the Bob Fosse hand moves. Yikes…)

Yeah, sure, there’s the class on how to build a shaker table. That sounds like fun. But I already have a table. And I guess there are several distance learning offerings for people who want to complete a degree or two, but I’ve gone as far in school as I need to in order to follow my chosen career path — professional saddle burr.

From where I’m sitting, the community school really needs to offer some courses that actually appeal to me, Joe-regular-ordinary-every-day-islander. Courses we can use. Courses that will make us a better, stronger community. Courses that will equip us to face the future of life on Nantucket.

As usual, I am happy to provide a few helpful suggestions:

CKG345 — How to not ruin a scallop. The Nantucket Bay Scallop is perhaps one of the most perfect foods known to man, and yet, it is very easy to ruin. Many people wrap them in bacon and broil them. Good for Nantucket’s fledgling toothpick industry, but not so good for the palate. Classes will discuss proper sauté-pan selection, caramelization, and complimentary aromatics. One class will be spent learning the proper technique for opening scallops and eating them raw, on your back porch, with a cold beer within reach.

PLN089 — Planning on Nantucket. This nine-week course will cover the nine state-mandated areas of the 41-81d master plan and will outline the difficult and arduous work that goes into planning. Hopefully our current planning board will actually attend and learn something.

SDF945 — Rotary Navigation 101. With a new roundabout on Nantucket, the population could really use a refresher course on roundabout and rotary particulars: Clock wise or counter clockwise, it’s not a choice. How to enter a rotary. Who has the right of way. And what to do when you get dizzy from all that spinning (hint: do not put your head between your legs while driving). This course will be listed with other self-defense classes.

SHP784 — Bargains on Nantucket. A one-night, 15-minute course. Cost $300 per student. BYOB.

NAV095 — How to read a tide chart. Even seasoned mariners and fishermen need a little refresher reading tide charts from time to time to see who low a tide can actually be.

SIT820 — Bench-sitting for beginners. The generation of Nantucket bench-sitters is getting older and older. When they become just a memory, who will be there to take their place? Take this course to learn how you can carry on this vital and important tradition. (Natives only.)

POL216 — A primer on Nantucket’s strange and perplexing political landscape. Nothing is more complex than politics on Nantucket. This helpful seminar will walk you through the players, positions and pitfalls of public service on this little island. Find out what’s not being reported in the newspapers. Learn all about the local democratic and republican committees. Traverse the specifics of the open meeting statute. Learn the importance of a properly worded zoning article. And discover the difference between being anti-growth and pro-managed growth. Courses held at the Downeyflake and at the Brotherhood’s upstairs bar.

SAS682 — Stop and Shop Survival Guide. Learn the secrets of traversing the Stop and Shop aisles and escaping with your life and at least half your life savings. In the summer, the fine art of parking space acquisition will also be taught.

FND998 — One Man’s Trash — How to make money with Take It or Leave It and eBay. An online course offering. For details, go to eBay.com and use the search term, “Nantucket.” This course could allow you to finally buy that house in Shimmo you’ve always wanted.

LSR345 — How to write a cogent and compelling letter to the editor. This course is a must for sewer wonks, critics, complainers and roofing contractors. Learn how to write a letter to the editor without sounding like you’re a raving nut-job, mouthing the words as you type, emitting little bits of spittle which collect on the computer screen, and with scary blood vessels popping out from your forehead.

Come to think of it, all of these courses are already offered somewhere. Hmmm… Where could that be?

YACK on.

Grant Sanders if the host of YACK, the Nantucket Online Community at yackon.com and he believes learning is an important part of daily life. His views are his own and do not necessarily reflect the editorial stance of The Nantucket Independent.